In the words of Ringo Starr...

"I get by with a little help from my friends."

Janelle has most definitely been my saving grace as of late. My best friend and roommate, has totally been my support, financially as well as morally, through this whole jobless situation. As I begin the hunt for primary income (I teach private music lessons, but it is not yet enough to support the budget alone), she has been covering my figurative behind, and continued to motivate me and give me hope that all will work it's way out. I must say that this is all quite humbling for the independent, "wannabe provider" spirit of this Aries.
Steinbeck reminded the American people about "the best-laid plans of mice and men", yet I still let my guard down to the meandering ways of the Universe. Christians, as well as other monotheists, have used the phrase "Let go, and let God." Whether you look at God as an omnipotent being, or as a vast organic energy that makes up our universe, we all must come to understand that as miniscule beings (in comparison to the whole) there is something greater than us that will ultimately direct us on a particular path. Call it God's Plan, call it Karma, call it Fate. The point is that, as much as we try, ultimately we don't control our lives. We can control our immediate environment to prevent/propagate certain immediate occurrences. But, there is much that all the planning and control of which we are capable cannot change.
What I can change (or at least try to) today is my lack of income. What I can change today is my feelings of inadequacy and failure. What I can change today is my downward slide back into depression and consequent laziness, by holding onto the hope that I am destined for something better, and it will come to me on its own time. I need to trust my intuition, and not my heart, for emotions can cloud everything. I need to trust that the bills will get paid somehow, and I will not find the situation more dismal than it already is.
If it weren't for Janelle and my boyfriend Mathew, I would be lost in my head, full of worry. They remind me each day that everything happens for a divine purpose, and worrying does nothing but hurt me. I am increasingly grateful, my ego much more humbled, everyday as I learn the ongoing lessons of trust and unconditional love. Now, it's just a matter of letting go of my needless hang-ups.